This past week I was reading in Charlotte Mason’s Volume 1, Home Education about “the Will”. Thoughts about developing the power to choose what is right were mulling in the back of my mind all day, and I had a sudden thought that evening when I took my son to the theater to see Toy Story 5. You wouldn’t think that Charlotte Mason would be rubbing shoulders with Woody and Buzz, but “education is the science of relations” and I couldn’t unsee it. (Shout out to Anne White here.)
But, as is typical with a newly formed idea, I couldn’t quite put into words what I was thinking when I tried to explain to another mom from book club. Obviously, I didn’t really know what my idea was, since I couldn’t tell it. (Shout out to Karen Glass here.)
So it seemed best to mull over things some more, revisit the Section I of Part XI in Home Education, and try to narrate the will-o-the-wisp running through my brain.
It actually seems best to me to start at the end of her section there, because having a strong “why” or purpose is important. Why do I care about this Will?
“Education of the Will more important than that of the Intellect. — All this time, the will of the child is being both trained and strengthened; he is learning how and when to use his will, and it is becoming every day more vigorous and capable. Let me add one or two wise thoughts from Dr Morell’s Introduction to Mental Philosophy: ‘The education of the will is really of far greater important, as shaping the destiny of the individual, than that of the intellect…. Theory and doctrine, and inculcation of laws and propositions, will never of themselves lead to the uniform habit of right action. It is by doing, that we learn to do; by overcoming, that we learn to overcome; and every right act which we cause to spring out of pure principles, whether by authority, precept, or example, will have a greater weight in the formation of character than all the theory in the world.” -Home Education, p.329
We care about Will because it is the steering wheel that determines the path we take in who we become. Will is what makes us choose right, even when it would be much easier to choose wrong. For me, it’s to take a deep breath and listen to a crying child and help them work through their frustrations or worries or mistakes, when I am already so mentally and physically and emotionally taxed that I don’t think I can do one more minute of being the responsible, capable adult. That’s a very commonplace, happening-in-households-all-over example. But what about the stories and biographies we read of people who do this in a much more profound or unique way? People who give up themselves – their own lives – for the sake of other lives or for principles (like freedom, which is fresh in my mind after celebrating the 250th July 4th in the US).
There are principles beyond this earth that are much weightier in our consideration of the Will. She says on page 323, “When he wakes to the consciousness of whose he is and whom he serves, she [the mother] would have him ready for that high service, with every faculty in training – a man of war from his youth; above all, with an effective will, to will and to do of His good pleasure.”
The Will enables us to rise beyond “going with the flow” and live for others, but most of all, for God. To do His will, and not my own. Wasn’t that the pinnacle of Jesus’ ministry, when at the very moment He was asked to do the hardest thing he would ever have to do, He said, “Father, if You are willing, remove this cup from Me; yet not My will, but Yours be done” (Luke 22:42). His Will was to do the Father’s Will. The more we train our Will to direct us on God’s path, the more we are formed into the image of Christ.
But we don’t start out life with a super strong Will – even thought we might say that. This part reminds me that there is nothing new under the sun. “The baby scream himself into fits for a forbidden plaything, and the mother says, ‘He has such a strong will.’ The little fellow of three stands roaring in the street, and will neither go hither nor thither with his nurse, because ‘he has such a strong will.’…. But, all the time, nobody perceives that it is the mere want of will that is the matter with the child. He is in a state of absolute ‘wilfulness,’– the rather unfortunate word we use to describe the state in which the will has no controlling power; willessness, if there were such a word, would describe this state more truly. Now, this confusion, in the minds of many persons, between state of wilfulnness and that of being dominated by the will, leads to mischevious results even where wilfulness is not fostered nor the child unduly repressed; it leads to the neglect of the due cultivation and trainign of the will, that almost divine possession, upon the employment of which every other gift, be it beauty or genius, strength or skill depends for its value.” (Home Education, p.320-1)
When a child shows strong “determination”, we call it a strong will – but really it’s a weak will. Because there is no taking charge of self, but running along wherever our inclinations and passions lead us, with a determination to be the one who wins… even at a very young age.
If we want our children to have the mental strength to determine God’s Will, and not their own inclinations, then training this Will is one of the most important things we can do; as the quote at the beginning of this post said, even more important than academics. (And yet, when we’re planning the school year or term, how much consideration do we give to how the Will is being strengthened over how much history is covered? Preaching to myself here.)
As parents, we have a few ways to help develop and train a truly strong Will that works for the Father:
- Incentives
- Diversion
- Change of Thought
- Awareness of Will
- Attention
- Habits
- Purpose / “Why”
- Obedience
- Self-Management
For today’s post, I’ll be focusing on number five. Numbers 1-4 and 6-9 are important, and could have several blog posts of their own, but it was 5 that stood out to me after watching Toy Story 5.
Here’s what Charlotte says on page 326 about Will and attention: “Power of Will implies Power of Attention. — But you perceive that, though the will is all-powerful within certain limits, these are but narrow limits after all. Much must go before and along with a vigorous will if it is to be a power in the ruling of conduct. For instance, the man must have acquired the habit of attention, the great importance of which we have already considered. There are bird-witted people, who have no power of thinking connectedly for five minutes under any pressure, from within or without. If they have never been trained to apply the whole of their mental faculties to a given subject, why, no energy of will, supposing they had it, which is impossible, could make them think steadily thoughts of their own choosing or of anyone else’s. Here is how the parts of the intellectual fabric dovetail: power of will implies power of attention; and before the parent can begin to train the will of the child, he must have begun to form in him the habit of attention.”
Have you ever seen a dovetailed drawer? This type of carpentry was first brought to my attention when I took a home decorating course and it talked about quality furniture. There are lots of mass-produced, cheap furniture options… and they won’t last a very long time. But there are lots of used pieces of furniture in thrift stores that have lasted decades because of their quality carpentry. One of the things that the course teacher taught us to look for was “dovetailing” – when two parts of a piece of furniture are joined together in such a way that interlock and become incredibly durable.
Will and Attention are like a dovetailed joint. When we train the habit of Attention, we are paving the way for the power (and habit) of Will, and are giving our children (and ourselves) intellect, durability, and character.
So what happens when we fragment our attention? This is where an idea sparked in my mind watching Toy Story 5. There are several scenes – very accurate to real life – in which entire families are engrossed on their screens, and children become like little zombies, barely engaging in real life. (To be fair to the kids, adults become very zombie-like on their screens too.).
When we create a habit of attention fragmentation, we are setting up a very rough road for Will. In order to be able to choose rightly, we have to be able to change our thoughts or choose our thoughts (“think on these things” comes to mind), and we need Attention to do that. Without Attention, there is nothing for Will to dovetail to.
There are so many new books, podcasts, and resources available on what screen time is doing to our Attention – both kids and adults – that I won’t get into it here. But some things to think on for us and our kids….
For the kids: When we give our kids time to fully immerse in play, we grow the habit of Attention. When we give them quality literature and short lessons, we grow the habit of Attention. When we go outdoors and let them explore, we grow the habit of Attention. Much more is said in CM’s volumes, but that’s a good start. All of these things will give the habit of Attention a chance to dovetail to Will.
For us: When we take a break or set limits on our phones, we grow the habit of Attention (and Will). When we fully engage in real life, even as non-glamourous as it seems sometimes compared to the curated Instagram and Pinterest posts, we grow the habit of Attention (and Will). When we think – really, truly think – on history, biography, science, handicrafts, philosophy (all of which could be called Mother Culture), we grow the habit of Attention (and Will). When we choose doing school when we’d rather not, we grow the habit of Will. When we choose being present for a child at the end of a very long, and trying, day, we grow the habit of Will. When we lean into God’s choices for ourselves, rather than our own, sometimes very determined, wants, we grow the habit of Will.
“Not my will, but Yours be done.”
A Little Golden Thread 