Have you ever read the picture book One Grain of Rice by Demi? It’s a great mathematical read, about one grain of rice, multiplied exponentially, can feed far more than you think. The illustrations are lovely, and my son really enjoyed reading through it together when we began learning about multiplication (thanks, Wild Math!).
I’m starting to get a picture of how habit training is very much like that one grain of rice, and the thought started snowballing in my mind because of a sermon series our local preacher wrapped up recently.
He’s been going through the fruits of the Spirit, and this past Sunday was focused on self-control. Self-control: the ability to reign in your will and do what is right, to have the long-term focus instead of the short-term, and do what is necessary rather than what your passions/desires/emotions wish. That feels like such a tall order, even as an adult, but if the way has been paved already, it becomes much easier.
Which is like Proverbs (I know, I know, hang in there with me for a minute, cause “education is the science of relations,” ya know), where the writer is exhorting his son to choose what is right and good and wise, rather than what is wrong and evil and foolish. That he needs to see the long-term (“he doesn’t know that her house is full of the dead”), rather than his short-term desires.
And that (last relation!) is like the book Atomic Habits, where we try to create a new pathway in our brains to train ourselves to automatically do things that are important. Drinking a glass of water before having a cup of coffee – which means making it easy, obvious, and desirable (like putting the glass of water out on the table at night before I go to bed, so when I wake up in the morning and the coffee is brewing, I gulp down that glass of water). That one glass of water doesn’t seem like much, but it sets me on a path of exponential grains of rice in the form of hydration, kidney and muscle and brain health, emotionally feeling better, etc.
All of these connections and bits and pieces come back to this: that by helping our children set up habits, even in seemingly small things, we are helping them develop the self-control necessary for a good life. Whether that’s in self-control to care for their body (one piece of dessert is enough for now), or for others (I don’t really want to make dinner for my family but caring for them is more important than how I feel), or for God (I don’t want to obey this command, but I’m going to anyway, even if I don’t understand).
The next time your young child doesn’t want to obey when you tell them it’s time to leave the park, or to clean their room, or to do their 5-10 minutes of copywork, or to share with their brother or sister, etc., consider the long-game and your consistency. *Your* self-control and *your* consistency is helping to shape *their* self-control and *their* consistency and *their* life.
A Little Golden Thread 